The Bum Life

bum1
bəm/
informal

noun

NORTH AMERICAN
noun: bum; plural noun: bums
  1. 1.
    a vagrant.

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Everyone has gone through this.  (Right?)

I’m really not sure.

As a 26-year old individual, I am in this point where everybody (or most people) is expecting that I should have known by now which paths to take, which decisions to make, and which kind of life I choose to live. I know I’m not alone in this and there are tons of younger and even older versions of me out there that are also stuck in this quicksand called life.

I’m not here to talk about our life struggles. I’m not here to give out life lessons and life quotes to somehow make us all feel better. Don’t get me wrong, I am a very optimistic person, but I’m not a professional adviser. I’m not in the right position to say that “things will get better”; “you just have to believe in yourself”; “you’re just tracking the longer road but you will get there eventually”; “don’t push yourself too hard”. Heck, I’m even a self-proclaimed bum.

As much as I wanted to believe in these words, I can’t. Simply because somehow I enjoy the mishaps presented to me. I mean, life is supposed to be filled with surprises, right? I don’t like living by the book. And I know people who also find happiness by being just the way they are.

Am I lazy? Yes.

Do I enjoy feeling lazy? Yes.

Do I like being lazy? I hate it.

Laziness has been my longest, most despised frienemy for years. It’s like my shadow. I’m practically wifed to Laziness. It’s like a drug, where you love the feeling of it that you just can’t stop craving and going for it, but you know that it will cause huge effects on you to the point where it will just basically ruin everything in your life. (Haha, that’s a bit exaggerated but) being in this situation for too long got me overthinking (in particular) about where do I end up in the future.

Some might actually think that laziness has something to do with failing in life. Sir, I very much agree to that statement. Sir, I am already walking towards you to join your circle.

I hate to say it, but yes it is. And I hate to also say this, but I think I’m at this verge of a black hole where one last push and I’ll be doomed for the rest of my life. And yes, I’m still talking about our friend Laziness.

So, how do I tackle Laziness out of my system? If I’m able to enjoy these couple of so-called “mishaps” in life then I should be fine, right? Wrong.

I have read plenty of pages online on how to help us “divorce” Laziness. Setting up goals, and practicing this word: motivation, and as far as to seeing psychiatrists.

You already know what I did.

Nothing.

I practically just read all of those, but did nothing.

Why? I’m just too lazy.

Like I said, I’m not here to help you overcome these kinds of things. (Too lazy for that haha.) But I’m here, same as you. And maybe once in a while our optimism will fail us and depression will set in, but I know one thing that no one else know besides you and me, we always try. And what we have will always be so much more than what meets the others’ eyes.

PS. If you are reading this, please consider listening to Mumford and Sons‘ song “After the Storm“, and let’s try to climb our hills together. 🙂

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