Modifying the Liquid Self.

Sometimes people really need to just shut the hell up. No matter what the situation, once things were said and done, no one can take them all back.

Twenty three years in this Earth and still I am struggling to be the person I hoped to be – the one who will weigh circumstances before speaking what’s stirring in her mind. – the one who will set reasons in the table first. – the one who will constantly avoid debates, not to chicken out from arguments but to avoid saying something not worth listening to. Twenty three years in this Earth and still I never achieved to become that person, I never learned to keep my mouth shut. Yet, I continue to speak my mind too sudden to not notice that I have already irritated or hurt someone. Twenty three years and still I’m this stupid. Either that, or I’m just bound to be this kind of person forever.

This night, I’m putting myself again to a phase where I undergo a battle with my head on what to do, on how to continue to learn and to stop being so big-mouthed. Though I never wanted to constantly change into someone I’m not, having a long night to myself might actually help me see the lighter shade of things not visible to the eye. And may the force be with me!

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