The best things in life are free.

Free, eh? Who in this awesome world would have invented the quote anyway?

 

Money.

..pretty much, means everything. Money feeds people, takes people to school, lets people live in modern times fit and full. Or so, as where and when in this lifetime I currently live, it seems.

Happiness.

Smiling and laughing define happiness. Yes, more or less. But how can somebody smile; Somebody who starves, who sleeps beside the gutters of abandoned stores, who suffers days and nights only to survive, who’s being laughed at, who’s being hit, who’s being harassed and mistreated and shamed?

 

Questions.

What if I’m wealthy and I never get to experience life the hard way? How about getting yourself instantly whatever you thought of you like in just a snap? Does money equate to someone’s happiness?

 

Present time.

Currently, I am working in this environment where everyone’s supposed to render overtime, finish projects and reach schedules, whether some good or evil minions like it or not. A few colleagues of mine had already participated answering to these demands, had skipped morning, noon, and afternoon meals, had continually worked from dusk till dawn till dusk without going home, had broken down and caught illnesses I never before had even heard of or encountered. Why? Because our employers say so. Because the company pays us just enough to pay the bills, pay the rent, bring food to the family, keep us clothed, and keep us breathing. A few colleagues of mine had already also participated resigning. Why? Because it’s hard. Life is hard. And what do you expect, we serve you and we strain ourselves and you get all the glory and the love and the kachings? Shut it, because it’ll only be like (1) you’ll lose most of your good employees; or (2) your employees will suffer physical and emotional damages (which means you also lose them, yes, when they workdie*).

 

So what is happiness?

My definition of happiness: I wake up each morning, watch the sky turn from reddish-orange-ish-yellowish color to blue, checks online updates from friends, go to work. At work, one will endure all the sleepiness, stress, strains, and the not so lovely business, but believe me or not, happiness will never drain here. I got friends, or at least there will always be someone to talk to. Not a day will pass when I won’t be able to manage a smile. Work is worth the food on the table, but happiness is worth a super thick blanket during the winter. So I say, why waste your time ranting about stupid projects, heartless bosses, and lame time management? Getting home after sticking at the traffic, starving, showering under the cold rain. They will never matter as long as you’re home –that is happiness.

So, do you need to have or do this or that to say that you’re happy? Of course not. You only have to live, cherishing the sweetness of life, breathing the morning air. You only need at least someone else’s company. You don’t strive to be the best, because you ARE the best in what you do as long as you’re enjoying it. Be on the optimistic side and you’ll never gonna say that life is being unfair, because usually it really is, but life doesn’t control you, you control your life.

Show life who’s boss.

 

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*workdie v. – a word I invented just this moment, meaning losing all the guts, the will, the effort, the energy, the power to do stuffs that someone else required him/her to do, because of strain.

Mental Morning.

So, it’s very unlikely that I would share some of my thoughts this early in a weekend morning. But since I missed getting up earlier to do the things I planned last night to do (specifically, do jogging), I’d decided to just catch up with my Youtube subscriptions that I haven’t watched for a month. And doing so brought me to this one particular episode of =3. So usually, it will always be just Ray and his viral video reviews but this one’s different. It’s Ray and Anna with talks of Political and religious views and homo/heterosexuality (whatever you call that). And my most favorite upon watching would be the topic of having or not having freewill. I would say it was a good argument, and I’m just pleased to have encountered this kind of talks (online) for a while.

So if someone has nothing else special to do, I recommend checking this one video out, it’s fine and it won’t hurt or take much of our time. And also checking out the podcast, it’s called Runaway Thoughts (which I’m going to do so now, though I never know where the first few episodes were uploaded, but this one’s up at the =3 channel).

Anyway, here’s the link to that one particular episode I was talking about: Runaway Thoughts Podcast. I hope someone might find it some kind of informative, or I don’t know, good maybe. Because I just know it’s good. And I know I just have to share this, as much as I know I need to grab breakfast..

When you do this, and you do that, I burst my annoyance out.

I can’t quite put to words what I feel right now, finding out that You-Know-Who had already blocked me in this one particular social networking site. Should I feel a bit sad? Should I jump for joy? I think the word “irritated” would best fit what was currently revolving inside this system of mine. Knowing that You-Know-Who is still focusing on pushing me away from his life. Knowing that up until now, it still haunts him — that bitterness.

People, if you want to move on, you don’t avoid the person you least wanna see by doing extra immature actions such as cutting the connections. Do so and you’ll only fool yourself, pretending you don’t care. I say live your life accepting every mistake, tactless actions, and wounding words that can never be undone, and stop acting like a kid. Stop telling others like it’s always the other one’s fault. Stop making yourself look like you’ve been hurt when you knew that you first decided to hurt the other. Stop complaining. Stop getting everyone’s attention to hear your side, because believe me, nobody cares. You don’t need your friends’ advices, you don’t need someone to sympathize with you. You need to fix yourself. On your own.

Living is continually learning without reaching perfection. Imperfections are what make us human. (And there’s only one who’s ace, and we are millions of miles far from par). You don’t always have to look good, you don’t always have to act good. Stop pretending to be everything you’re not and start accepting the consequences of your actions.

Anyway, who knew this post would only turn into a rant.

You didn’t only become annoying as days went by, you now also made me feel so disappointed. But disappointed as I can be, one should also try to live –and that’s me.

Moving on. Then Moving forward.

Moving on.

I don’t know much about others but, there are certain points in my life when I wholeheartedly appreciate everything I’ve received; and a certain day when even the most sweetest things will happen to have zero effect anymore.

Many times within the last two years of my life, I was receiving notes, letters, and posts, which I much kept dearly, held on to, and read infinite times just to savor the goodness of their words. Today I received a note, read it, put it away. Ironic, because that piece of paper I received today came from the very same person who used to send me such things for the last two years.

Moving forward.

Today is also the day I almost (literally) bumped into the person mentioned above. (Adjustment bureau, how could you do this to me?). While I was walking with my colleagues, just in time towards the intersection, the guy just popped out of nowhere and was then walking right in front of me. With slight panic, but instincts ON, I managed a 90-degree-perfect-right-turn just after bursting out “Oh shit” behind his back.

Realizing what’s done is done, not worrying, and not caring; Throwing away stupid promises, recycled sweet words and false feelings –makes it all the lot easier to do a 90-degree turn to the right (always never the wrong side), and walk away.

Starting all over again.

Yep, here we go again. After years and years of unpublished writings, out of nowhere and in a snap, I’m beginning to bring back this teenage thing of mine. Yes, I’ve grown. But where had all my thoughts go? Archives deleted, memories dead. Only the more reasons to go back to the start. But who cares. There’s still less than hundreds of years in store for me to keep pushing my ideas in the edge. And there’s still boredom, depression, stress, anger, joy, and freedom to help me work my mind.

So, ending this initial post, here’s a one good line for all:

“Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius.”

–George Bernard Shaw